Scooter Boy and the Gummy Worm
by Denise Carter
Why is WWE taking their Apex predator and changing him into the world's biggest Gummy worm? Has WWE hit a wall with Randy Orton's career that he can't be a singles competitor? I just don't see a third generation superstar who became WWE's world champion at the age of 24 losing his legacy to ride around on a scooter and call people "Bro."
There have been several superstars who have used "Bro" in their promos and we all see them at other companies bobbing for apples. Now Randy, on the other hand, could be a great asset to Matt Riddle. He could, for example, teach him how to remember lines to his promos. Another valuable lesson Orton could teach Riddle is how not to call women like Auska a "bro"; women can't be bro's. Lastly - and most important - to teach Scooter Boy the importance of boots / tape on his feet and ankles. Wrestlers are likely to suffer numerous breaks or fractures in their feet and ankles, and his opponents will always go after those parts first.
Not to mention it's just downright creepy.
So Randy -- please do wrestling fans everywhere a favor and guide this lost Scooter Boy to glory, or beat it in him.
Photo: Wikimedia Commons